Are you ready for love? Head Trash Series

What better passage to read during Valentine’s Day week than something from Song of Solomon? Although a lot of Christians see Song of Solomon as an analogy of the love between God and the Church, it is really about the love of a man and a woman. The poetry is far too sexual to be anything else! In declaring her love for the man, the woman gives this strong charge in chapter 2:

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Song of Solomon 2:7

We can’t just dismiss this as nice poetry with cute animals. This passage includes a statement made three times in the book, emphasizing its importance. What does this emphatic urging mean?

We need to slow down.

When it comes to love and all its passions, we need to slow down. Scripture says not to awaken love until it so desires. Until we are ready for the full implications of this kind of romantic love, with all its commitments, we should be slow to kindle intense romance.

By gazelles and does of the field?

The woman seems to be appealing to the authority of gazelles and female deer:  “I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field.” How strange is that? What do gazelles and does of the field have to do with it? Let me give you an illustration: If I sang: “A maze of grapes, How sweet and round,” what would you think? You’d think of the words, “Amazing grace, How sweet the sound.”

So when someone sang or recited “by the gazelles and does of the field,” in Hebrew, it would have sounded very much like the phrase “by the Lord God Almighty.” What that does is to put a lot of weight on the command. It preserves the pastoral imagery of the song, but brings to mind: “I adjure you by the Lord God Almighty, do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

Don’t awaken something which, for whatever reason, you aren’t ready for!

Song of Solomon’s admonition to slow down and not awaken desires before marriage would save people from a lot of emotional pain and the resultant head trash. I would imagine there are a few of you reading this that can think of a “romantic” relationship that hurt you. Some of us probably knew when we were in that relationship that it wasn’t God’s best for us in the first place.

Why such strong, repetitive commands?

God’s commands regarding sexual intimacy are there for your protection. In my first pastorate, a young lady who was not a Christian, but whose mother attended my church, felt God telling her repeatedly, “Talk to Ed.” She finally made an appointment, we had a conversation about God, and God showed up in that office.

We prayed, she prayed to receive Christ, and she had a powerful experience with God. After this, she shared with me about her living situation. She volunteered to me that she was living with a man who was not her husband. She probably knew that that wasn’t God’s best for her life, so she asked, “What do you think about that?” I didn’t want to be too pushy, but I wanted to help her in her new relationship with God. We had a very friendly conversation, I suggested she consider moving out, and encouraged her to get baptized.

The message then got back to me later: “She came to me to see if I would baptize her, but I refused to do so unless she moved out.” That’s not at all how that happened, but that was the story told around our church, and people in that church thought that was insensitive on my part. But that wasn’t the end of the story. A few months later, the young lady did move out. Why? Because the man she was living with began beating her. God’s best for her life was for her protection.

God’s best for your life in terms of sexual purity is for your protection.

I charge you, by the Lord God Almighty, do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. God wants to protect you. He wants to protect you from pain. It’s not just about someone beating you. We hurt ourselves when we create intimacy before we’re ready for the commitment of love within the covenant of marriage. God’s rules for romance and passion are for your peace and protection.

Prevent head trash.

It becomes even more painful, producing even more head trash that sometimes stays with us for years, when we have created bonds that we shouldn’t have created. Then, when those bonds are broken, we have far more pain, far more damage to our souls and minds, than God ever wanted.

Get real.

Let’s get real, even though this might not be a popular message: sexual sin is harmful. It causes pain that God never intended you to suffer. One of the best ways of dealing with head trash is to keep it from getting there in the first place.

Are you single?

Immorality before marriage is harmful. You can build bonds with someone at a point when you, the other person, or the relationship as a whole, are not ready for the bonds of intimacy. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”

Why are sexual sins the worst?

Here’s what Paul means: sexual sins are the worst because they involve our identity. In the verses just before this, Paul quotes Genesis 2:24: “the two will become one flesh.” When Jesus quotes Genesis 2:24, he is speaking of marriage. Paul, in this passage, is relating it to sexual immorality. In other words, there is a bond produced by sexual intimacy that is intended only for marriage!

You are doing damage to your own soul, including your relationship with God, through sexual intimacy outside of marriage. That includes sex before marriage, and sex with someone who is not your spouse if you are married.

If you’re married…

Adultery exposes you to pain that tears at your soul. Adultery exposes you to rightful divorce. Also, the marital bond of Genesis 2:24 is a strong bond that can only hurt when broken. You will hurt yourself, the spouse you cheat on, your family, and you will dishonor God. Do not awaken something that God doesn’t want you to awaken. Stay clear of sexual immorality. Flee from sexual immorality. If you are married, be radical about cutting out anything that will lead you to sin against your marriage.

It’s way more than, “Just don’t have sex.”

Sexual purity is not just about right behavior; it’s about right worship. Ultimately, sexual purity must be about our relationship with the Lord. We honor God because we love God. We want to please God. If we will honor God with our bodies, we will save ourselves a lot of pain, we will bring God glory, and we will bless other people.

Sexual purity is not just about what we don’t do with our bodies; it’s about what we do to glorify God with our bodies. The Bible doesn’t just command you to flee sexual immorality; it encourages you to honor God with your body. Make worshiping God a priority in your life. Make caring for one another in the family of God a priority.  Find a place of service in keeping with God’s call on your life.*

I truly believe that prioritizing your relationship with God will help keep you from rushing into a situation that might not be God’s best for you.

Pastor Ed’s Podcast:

The Gospel of Mark | Journey to Jerusalem – Ed Crenshaw | Revival Leadership Insights

Have you ever heard of a Mark sandwich? The writer, Mark, uses literary sandwiches, or "intercalations", to showcase a point. What could he be intimating by sharing two stories of Jesus healing the blind, before and after his journey? Pastor Ed unpacks it.

1. The Gospel of Mark | Journey to Jerusalem 41:44
2. The Gospel of Mark | Do You Really Know Jesus? 43:11
3. The Gospel of Mark: The Wilderness 40:25
4. The Miraculous | The Red Sea – A Formula for Miracles? 38:08
5. The Miraculous | Can I Have Your Attention? 40:58

Pastor Ed’s Notes:

*At Victory Church, this could look like participating in our Big Days of Service [large days of community service where the church partners with local organizations to serve our marginalized neighbors] which happen throughout the year as well as joining a Serve Team through which you can regularly serve in the church family context.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.